I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
