Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
