Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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