She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
