dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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