i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
