I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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