I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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