Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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