Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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