So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
