I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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