I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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