But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
