i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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