Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
