do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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