Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
