He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
