absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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