I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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