I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
