I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
4 words: hood of his car
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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