Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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