ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
