Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
