It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
