They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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