i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
