p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
