He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
