Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
