tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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