it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
