Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
