I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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