Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
