you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
