Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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