It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
