DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
