Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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