Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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