it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
