Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
