why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
