i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Randomize
