It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
