I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
