break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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