so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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